So that you can't say I never gave ya nothin' (yeah, yeah, I can't stop you from sayin' it, but we'll all know you're lyin'), here's a post I've cobbled together from some old body parts I dug out of the basement past posts and whatnot. Merry Whatever, ya filthy animals.
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If you're wanting Xmas goofery to read, you can't go goofier than Christopher Moore's The Stupidest Angel: A Heartwarming Tale of Christmas Terror. (I mean, if you can, I'd love to know how.) Yes, it's kinda the third book in an unofficial trilogy, but you needn't read the first two books to enjoy this one, technically. (Though if you're a compulsive completist like me, you can check out the first one here, and the second here.) (Nearly forgot, there are a couple of characters in The Stupidest Angel that don't appear in either Pine Cove book linked above, but are featured here.)
Oh, hey! It's been a while since we played my little word-association game, innit? Up for another round? (Pretend you are, no one need know the truth...)
Using Random Word at watchout4snakes, I'm going to toss out a word and you're going to share the first thing that comes to your mind in the comments section below.
And to wrap up my #SpookySZN blog series, here are some 21st Century movies that wigged me out. As in previous posts, they're in chronological order; click the title for their IMDB pages, which will tell you more about them and also where you can stream them.
PS: Once again, my selection criteria was 1. What have I loved, 2. What can be found on one of the big three streaming services (Amazon Prime Video, Hulu, & Netflix) OR free (with commercials) on sites like Plex, Pluto, and Tubi, and 3.What I haven't already blogged about.
PPS: Some of these have comical elements but none of them are recommended for folks just dipping their toes into the horror genre. Viewer discretion is seriously advised!
This post does what it sez on the tin, folks: I present for your viewing pleasure (trailers below!) some of my fave horror comedy flicks (so far!) since we entered this maniacal millennium. As with last week's post, you're getting them in chronological order; click the title for their IMDB pages, which will tell you more about them and also where you can stream them.
PS: Also like my last post, my selection criteria was 1. What have I loved, 2. What can be found on one of the big three streaming services (Amazon Prime Video, Hulu, & Netflix) OR free (with commercials) on sites like Plex, Pluto, and Tubi, and 3.What I haven't already blogged about.
PPS: Just 'cause they're funny don't mean they ain't gots the scares and the gore. Viewer discretion advised.
I have to admit, I'm using the term "terrifying" loosely, here. A bunch of these could be considered "horror-dramas," some are "quirky-horror-dramas," a few "horror comedies," and only a wee handful properly "terrifying." (I'll let you know which are which.) I loves 'em and they're all worth a watch. You're getting them in chronological order; click the title for their IMDB pages, which will tell you more about them and also where you can stream them.
PS: My selection criteria was 1. What have I loved, 2. What can be found on one of the big three streaming services (Amazon Prime Video, Hulu, & Netflix) OR free (with commercials) on sites like Plex, Pluto, and Tubi, etc., and 3. What have I not blogged about already?
And by "fictions," I mean "books" but, you know, #alliteration. Here are 15 of my fave scary reads (so far), in order of publication date bc the idea of trying to rank them makes me feel faint. They're linked to their Goodreads pages, where you'll find buy links so you can check out pricing at your purveyor of choice, if you're so inclined. Publishers' book blurbs are in purple italics; my thoughts follow.
Those who know me probably wish they didn't know that I heart me some spoopy tuneage. So here's my YouTube playlist for Halloween 2024, with slightly over two hours of music to groove to while you're carving your pumpkin(s) and whatnot. I've written a blurb about each piece as well, but fortune favors the bold or some such motivational bullshit, so I'd recommend playing the tracks first.*
*Uh, watch out for that last video, tho, 'cause it's got some freaky film footage that might not be suitable for all audiences. Just sayin'...
This October, watch this spot for some peculiar, possibly perilous, and probably possessed posts for Spooooooookyyyyyyy Seeeeeeeeasooooon 2024. My Reign of Terror begins next week with my first love, music, so be sure to tune in* for your Halloween decorating soundtrack.
*see what I did there?
The Repost
Here's an entry from my 2013 series, Aphrodisiacs from A to Z, which touched on the various things believed to rev up folks' motors in the sex-ay department. This was my H entry, Horror Movies, and may have* some tweaks, as well as new nonsense sprinkled in here and there.
Horror movies have been popular from the beginning of cinematic history, in large part pushed by young Hollywood for their very commercial scariness. Why so commercial? They reckoned fellas would take their gals to the local drive-in, so the chicks could get spooked right into their letterman-jacket-clad arms, and voila—sexy-fun good times in your dad's Buick. Well, OK, there's a bit of truth to the fact that getting freaked out makes you seek comfort, but sexual healing? Really?
My rating: 4 of 5 stars* *3.5 stars rounded up to 4.
About the book:
A Chicago cul-de-sac is about to get a new neighbor...of the demonic kind.
Amy Foster considers herself lucky. After she left the city and moved to the suburbs, she found her place quickly with neighbors Liz, Jess, and Melissa, snarking together from the outskirts of the PTA crowd. One night during their monthly wine get-together, the crew concoct a plan for a clubhouse She Shed in Liz’s backyard—a space for just them, no spouses or kids allowed.
But the night after they christen the She Shed, things start to feel . . . off. They didn’t expect Liz’s little home-improvement project to release a demonic force that turns their quiet enclave into something out of a nightmare. And that’s before the homeowners’ association gets wind of it.
Even the calmest moms can’t justify the strange burn marks, self-moving dolls, and horrible smells surrounding their possessed friend, Liz. Together, Amy, Jess, and Melissa must fight the evil spirit to save Liz and the neighborhood . . . before the suburbs go completely to hell.
The first Cannons tune I recall hearing is Bad Dream, from their album Fever Dream. If the hypnotic beat weren't enough to capture my attention, the lyrics were:
I been living in a bad, bad dream Sleepwalking through a sad scene
From Bram Stoker Award–winning author Gwendolyn Kiste comes a chilling novel about three childhood friends who miraculously survive the night everyone in their suburban neighborhood turned into ghosts—perfect for fans of Yellowjackets.
The Velkwood Vicinity was the topic of occult theorists, tabloid one-hour documentaries, and even some pseudo-scientific investigations as the block of homes disappeared behind a near-impenetrable veil that only three survivors could enter—and only one has in the past twenty years, until now.
Talitha Velkwood has avoided anything to do with the tragedy that took her mother and eight-year-old sister, drifting from one job to another, never settling anywhere or with anyone, feeling as trapped by her past as if she was still there in the small town she so desperately wanted to escape from. When a new researcher tracks her down and offers to pay her to come back to enter the vicinity, Talitha claims she’s just doing it for the money. Of all the crackpot theories over the years, no one has discovered what happened the night Talitha, her estranged, former best friend Brett, and Grace, escaped their homes twenty years ago. Will she finally get the answers she’s been looking for all these years, or is this just another dead end?
Award-winning author Gwendolyn Kiste has created a suburban ghost story about a small town that trapped three young women who must confront the past if they’re going to have a future.
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I won an uncorrected Advance Reader Copy of this book from Saga Press, via Goodreads Giveaway--thanks so much! Here are my thoughts:
One frigid December night, about three years ago, I exited the office I worked in at the time, on the Upper West Side of Manhattan. It was waaaaay past quitting time, and I was wiped out and starving, and I just wanted to get my commute over with so I could get home and collapse with copious quantities of comfort foods, already. But across the way, something caught my eye. I went toward the colorful motion and about a long block later found myself in front of the ABC building. The ground level lights were all off. In one glass wall was mounted a monitor and speakers so passersby could enjoy whatever ABC was currently airing--and in that moment, it was about ten minutes into A Charlie Brown Christmas. For the next twenty minutes I stood outside in the freezing cold, smiling through the program and the memories of when I was a kid watching it on CBS. (OK, and maybe I sniffled a little during Linus' monologue near the end.) The only thing that could’ve made that night better would’ve been the right man’s hand holding mine as we shared those chilly twenty minutes...and maybe some spiked hot chocolate.
Well, there probably isn’t a “right man” for me, and ABC no longer holds the rights to the special, so it won't be airing on network TV this year. But I can make myself a spiked hot chocolate whenever I want (I've concocted a fabulous recipe), and you can click here to learn where you can tune into the magic of Christmas (spoiler alert--PBS for the win!).
*This is a slightly expanded crosspost from my tumblr blog.
Youse guys, I had a blasty-blast doing the blogfest this year--I hope you enjoyed exploring the new, the old, and the outright bizarre with me.
But I just hate saying goodbye to Spook Out! So long, have a nice year, maybe see you next October, if I survive till then. Wham, bam, spook off, ma'am. So callous, so cruel. Can't bear it. So here are a few other fun things that can help keep you feeling spooky after all the Halloween candy's gone...
the shoot-em-up opening credits, that really set the tone for the rest of the movie
the laughs, the gags, the bits, the throwaways, the visual jokes--man, this mfr was even funnier than the first Z-land flick, but also,
the zombie scares, which are played straight and, in some scenes, legit scary
the new zombie classifications
how relationships, both romantic and familial, are explored and developed
the doppelgängers! (so to speak)
the specTACular zombie battle in the third act, DANG!
The Meh... The only "meh" for me is that I don't know if we're getting another movie in this franchise. PLEASE OH PLEASE LET THERE BE ANOTHER ONE!!!!!
Would I recommend it...?
HECK to the YEAH! Lah-lah-lah-LOVE THIS MOOOVEEEEEEE! For me, it's the perfect combination of action, romance, comedy, and horror, with exactly the right amount of violence and gore to give it some Halloween bite (pun intended!). Not sure if sensitives will mind the aforementioned violence and gore--IMO, it's not gratuitous (for the kind of movie this is) and while it has scary moments, they're not terrifying, just...pleasantly chilling. (That's a thing, right? Pleasantly chilling?) (Well, it is for me...)
"A rebellious teenage boy embarks on a gutsy crusade to stop the terrifying evil he suspects has possessed his neighbor in this bone-chilling occult thriller."
how the scares start coming from the jump, and keep on coming
the artfully articulated Wretch in all her gory glory
how some character-types who are traditionally left unharmed in other horror movies enjoy no special protections here (which is to say, I didn't enjoy what happened to them, but I was impressed by how the directors dared to break through established conventions)
that the dad of the piece eventually listened to his son, though Ben gave every indication of being a very unreliable narrator indeed
the Sixth Sense-like twist in the third act. Nicely done, youse guys--I suppose I should've seen it coming, but I totally didn't...
The Meh...
I'd have liked more intel/background on what, exactly, that Wretch-beastie is (she's referred to as a witch, but she strikes me as something different, something...more)
It's got some '80s brat-pack movie tropes (a hot girl who's kind of a bitch, rich guys who're dicks to the protagonist, an embarrassing moment in a swimming pool, etc.) which contrast weirdly with the heavier themes of the film and detract from its intensity
Would I recommend it...?
Yeah, it's got loads of great scares with gruesome effects for Halloween, takes some risks, and does some things I haven't seen horror movies dare to do, of late. It's not for the faint of heart. Trigger Warnings for: babies, kids, and animals in peril, lotsa violence, and did I mention the gore?
"In a small town, brutal killings start to plague the close knit community. Marty Coslaw, a paraplegic boy, is convinced the murders are the doings of a werewolf."
Gary Busey as Uncle Red (Best Uncle in the Friggin World)
I liked...
the work done by Haim (RIP), Follows, and Busey--all three were fabulous, and also,
the relationships: Janie and Marty (which echoes Uncle Red and their mom's relationship), and Uncle Red's relationship to the kids--their chemistry was especially excellent, and I found them really believable as a close family
how Uncle Red encourages Marty to take risks and be as active and rascally as he can (the apple doesn't fall far from the uncle)
the hints as to the werewolf's true identity (and then how the identity is revealed) (and then someone's immediate reaction to that revelation--that face=priceless!)
the tense scene in the bar between a forming vigilante mob, the town's sheriff, and a grieving father
the practical effects of the werewolf's change--sure, they're a little cheesy but comparable, IMO, to the big change scene in the iconic An American Werewolf in London (I liked the change scenes but, as some others have noted, the "finished werewolf"--as it were--resembles a bear more than he does a wolf, alas.)
a crazy scene in which nearly the entire town wolfs out
that Janie, and later Uncle Red, takes logical steps to either prove or disprove Marty's claims
how this isn't really a horror comedy but does have some hilarious bits here and there
The Meh...
Though the three leads are well written and acted, some of the victims are decidedly not
How/why the werewolf attacks start isn't ever explained, which can work for something set in a big city, but not in a small town environment
Y'all got only one silver bullet made to defeat a werewolf? C'mon! Dudes, go to a thrift shop, get some silverware, have your smelter work on those, and fill up those chambers in that revolver! (Do I have to think of everything, here? Sheesh!)
The resolution of the main story problem is excellent, BUT the very ending voice-over bit is weirdly abrupt and anticlimactic...
The soundtrack is le major suck.
Would I recommend it...?
You bet! Silver Bullet is one of my fave horror movies, and a perfect little Halloween treat. The nostalgia factor's strong for me here--this scared the stuffin out of me when I was a kid and, tbh, the jump scares still get to me decades later, no matter how many times I see it (the werewolf breaks into two houses to get to his prey, wtf?!). The scares, coupled with some bloody violence and gore, ain't for the very sensitive, though they're probably not rough enough for fans of hardcore horror. But they're enough to chill me! 😎
Miscellany...
This movie's based on the Stephen King novella Cycle of the Werewolf (which I look forward to reading!).
Ratings...
My Grade: A- (though I admit to having a love for Silver Bullet that boosts the score up from a B+)
the writing, acting, use of space, and lighting--excellent
that, even though it's a bit of a slow burn, it's engrossing and well-paced, and kept me eager/anxious for the big reveal
how it masterfully builds the dread, creepiness, and suspense factors
the intricacies of, and tensions within, the men's relationships with one another
that it's hard to know whom to trust/believe, and
that it's hard to know what's real
the nephew character, what a sweetie (I heart Oreos too, kid!)
The Meh...
The motivating force behind...things is left somewhat ambiguous. I hate ambiguity, boo!
Though the creep factor was high, the scare factor was not. A few jumps would've seasoned the movie nicely.
Would I recommend it...?
Yes, it's a clever little thriller for the Halloween season! Sensitives will enjoy that the violence is more implied than shown (mostly) and that there's not much gore, really.
Peter Mullan (Gordon) also co-stars in this wonderful Britcom called Mum and plays just about the sweetest gruff guy you can imagine. The show's about loss, grief, picking up the pieces of your life, and finding love when you thought it impossible to love again. Oh, it's also about annoying relatives. It may not stream for free right now (I watched it on an Amazon channel to which I subscribe, BritBox) but can be rented or purchased outright--and it's so totally worth it! Highly recommend.
the contrasting color and wardrobe choices that revealed so much about Lou and Val's characters
how masterfully Roe (the striking, forbiddingly fashionable Siouxsie Sioux of serial killers) and Brayben (the mousey, no presence wannabe self-help seeker) embody their roles
the dark, dry British wit
seeing the ironic rise of the meek, even if it was a bit murder-y
the great pacing with no waste, just one hour and twenty minutes of fine storytelling
that some of the ridiculous "self-help therapies" were good for a snort or two
how some characters repeated their self-help courses (bc they clearly didn't help, bc they're bunkum)
The Meh...
This one's spoilery, click/highlight the text between the double red colons to read ::One stop on the self-help tour was with a couple promoting self-realization through sound therapy. Lou and Val spent the night with them and learned that the wine they shared with the gurus had been doped with some sort of "herbal relaxer"--after which you see the screen go kind of fuzzy and the female of the pair dancing around with a dildo, the implication clearly that the couple intended to sexually violate their clients::
Something happens here that always gets up my nose: they've got non-Americans playing Americans but there's something off about the accent that utterly smashes one's suspension of disbelief. One of the most telling words is "anything." Someone with a "standard" US accent would pronounce it "EHN-ee-thing," whereas the "standard" British pronunciation treats the "y" differently: "EHN-uh-thing." One of the gurus falls into this error and it just took me right out of the movie, at a critical juncture. ("Standard" bc there're regional differences in both countries, obvs.)
Would I recommend it...?
Yes, but with managed expectations. It's not really a horror movie (Amazon's Showtime channel categorized it as such, which is how I came across it) and it's not really LOL comedy, more like a "I watched the entire thing with an amused smirk and snorted a bunch of times, but it was a little sick here and there" kinda flick. It's a worthy indie, for sure, and I am totally looking forward to more from these cats!
Miscellany...
I feel there was a missed opportunity here, to have Val actually coach Lou on how to commit murder, asking her open-ended questions about how she felt she was growing through their spree, etc.. You know, play the "self-help for budding serial killers" thing straight, as it were.
some of the deeply profound thoughts expressed by the vamps, like suicidal Adam's poignant, "I needed a reflection, to see if it would echo back before..." Here, "reflection" is not the kind one seeks from a mirror, and the "before" implies his anticipated demise. Gave me chills, bc don't we all, on some level, seek to have something of ourselves reflected back from the world, to know we've made our mark, to know we'll be remembered?
Eve and Adam's relationship. They're so easy with one another, as folks who've known one another intimately for so long should be. They visibly cherish one another's company (the way they smoldered at one another when first reunited after a lengthy separation, W00F) and really appreciate the simple things they can do together, like play chess and dance in their living room. So lovely. 💜
Adam's relationship with his blood "dealer"--some fun moments in their interactions
how each vamp we meet has an innate, distinct skill
Adam's/Hiddleston's dreamy voice (though his hair's a fright)
For a horror comedy, it was light on both horror and comedy.
Plot? We don't need no stinking plot, bc...
...this film busies itself packing in allusion after allusion instead. That can be fun, but here I found it masturbatory and shallow (shallow, bc none of it advances the story, nor does it reveal character, as far as I could tell). I mean, I just don't reckon sophisticated vampires who've been married to one another for centuries need to name drop so much with one another. All the references come off, to me, like the droopy winks your soused uncle aims at you over the Thanksgiving turkey after he's told That Joke (yes, again).
All the unanswered questions (why were Eve and Adam living apart, anyway? What's with the glove wearing? Why do all the vamps have such bad hair???)
Would I recommend it...?
It's a gorgeous mood piece with great music but as a horror movie, it's an anemic navel-gazer with no bite. (Puns fully intended.) Only at the very end, when Eve and Adam are desperate, do they frighten even a little bit. Those of sensitive dispositions are perfectly safe with this film. For a vampire love story with some actual scares, I'd recommend Let the Right One In or Let Me In. For a vampy love story with laughs, for my money you can't beat Love at First Bite.
Miscellany...
This is another Jim Jarmusch movie, the second one I've ever seen. The first, The Dead Don't Die, I reviewed earlier this month and I honestly can't understand how so many folks panned it but fawn all over Only Lovers Left Alive. Whatever, wank-boys'n'girls--up is down, day is night, vanilla is chocolate. You're all nuts. N.V.T.S. nuts.
Ratings...
My Grade: B as an art piece & vampire love story/C as a horror comedy
how this movie doesn't content itself with simply pushing the envelope, but shreds that mfr to bits
the dark, dark humor
how Nina, the titular revenant, is rendered here: she's corporeal but rotting, she can speak intelligently (and oh, so sarcastically) but has difficulty moving under her own steam, she leaves everything (and everyone) that comes into contact with her coated by blood and ooze, and her movements are often accompanied by squishy sounds (which 🤢 but also 😂)
how Rob stays in touch with Nina's parents (though perhaps more than was healthy for any of them)
how Holly completes her course and becomes a BAMF paramedic (much is made of how young she is by Nina and, later, Nina's parents, so I really appreciate that Holly is shown to be capable and brave in a professional capacity), and
that this BAMF paramedic scene has therapeutic value for Holly, as well as for the person she helps in it
The Meh...
The plot's a bit thin--the main action (when sex isn't happening), is Holly and Rob trying to figure out how to keep Nina from reappearing...and that's it. Perhaps that's enough but I wanted a little something more.
Throughout all of the sexy-times, Holly's breasts are shown quite often, whereas not once are we shown Rob's wang--not when they're having sex (Holly's body's in the way), not when they're interrupted having sex (the sheet covers him), not when he enters a room while he's naked (the camera grazes over the tip of his pubic hair for a second but quickly rises up to his torso), and not when Holly's freaking bathing him, ffs! Meanwhile, the directors--male-gazey mfrs--waste no opportunity to show us Holly's tits (when she's undressing for sex, when she's having sex, when she's getting up after sex, when she's dressing after sex, ad nauseam). Look, I get it--nudity often accompanies sex, and bodies are beautiful to gaze upon, sure. SO FREAKING SHOW US ROB'S DICK, THEN!!!!! *Ahem*
I'd like some clarity on that ending.
Would I recommend it...?
Um...Well...I liked the movie, got a lot of chuckles from it, and enjoyed the thinking material it provides regarding grief and how we manage the baggage we accrue from previous relationships. But it's not for everyone. You need a strong stomach to handle the fact that some of the sexy-sex is borderline necrophilia, kinda. Sorta. It's hard to classify. It's more gory than scary, although the ending horrifies in its own way. Trigger warning for: the aforementioned sorta-kinda-necrophilia, a suicide attempt (aftermath shown), and gore-galore.
Miscellany...
Nina Forever came to my attention years ago because of Fiona O'Shaughnessy, whom I'd seen in Brit series Striking Out and My Mother and Other Strangers. I loved her unique voice, which is a bit beefier, or guttural here (I guess that's the kind of thing one might expect of a reanimated corpse). It's been a while since I've seen these but, if memory serves, her roles on these shows were on the smaller side--but they're still great programs (and My Mother... is currently free for Prime members).
