15 Fave Freaky Fictions

And by "fictions," I mean "books" but, you know, #alliteration. Here are 15 of my fave scary reads (so far), in order of publication date bc the idea of trying to rank them makes me feel faint. They're linked to their Goodreads pages, where you'll find buy links so you can check out pricing at your purveyor of choice, if you're so inclined. Publishers' book blurbs are in purple italics; my thoughts follow.

Spook Out! Day 7 ~ Color Out of Space (2019)

Shudder Says...
"After a meteorite lands in their front yard, Nathan Gardner and his family find themselves battling an extraterrestrial organism as it infects their minds and bodies, and turns their lives into a living nightmare."

I Say...
Shudder nailed it.

Horror Type...
Cosmic Horror, Sci-Fi

Main Players...

Nicolas Cage as Nathan (Daddy with Issues)

Joely Richardson as Theresa (Mommy with Issues)

Madeleine Arthur as Lavinia Gardner (Extremely Annoying Teen)

I liked...

• Tommy Chong's supporting role as a...can you guess? Yes, that's right--a stoner! (Quelle surprise...)
• the creative insults Benny hurls at his sister Lavinia (who deserves them a thousand percent)
• the surveyor, Ward Phillips, who's a smart young man
• the use of colored lights throughout the film, to convey the otherworldly
• that Lavinia owns a book called Necronomicon (which is a little nod to H.P. Lovecraft, whose short story, The Colour out of Space, is the basis for this film)

The Meh...

• I found some of the main characters incredibly unlikeable (the parents, the daughter)--and that's before the color out of space crashed onto their property. They only grow exponentially worse.
• also from the jump, I felt like Cage and Richardson had bad chemistry together. I appreciate that, as a family, their characters have been through quite a bit within the past year or so, but still. They were just majorly off-putting, as a couple.
• at the 25 minute mark I felt like something was off about the movie itself, and at 33 minutes started losing interest. I'm amazed that a movie with so much of the fantastically weird in it could be so...well, boring. Also, at nearly two hours, it's WAY TOO FRIGGING LONG.
• again, I know that the meteor (and whatever came with it) negatively impacted the family's behavior, BUT the parents had gone to a hospital and been away a while, then returned home to find their pain-in-the-ass kids in a state of panic. But in stereotypical horror-movie-parent-fashion, they completely ignored them. My dudes, the spawn of my very own loins drove me crazy all through his middle and high school years, but if he ever approached me in any kind of distress, you'd best believe I gave him my full attention and did my best to help him.
• Nick Cage, man. I heart him, I really do. I've seen his gonzo rants in other flicks and quite enjoyed them. Here, not so much (OK, the one tantrum in the car I liked)

Would I recommend it...?

...not really. Not if you're sober. I bet I'd have enjoyed it a heck of a lot more if I were under the influence of something Tommy Chong might have tucked up in his beard. Frankly, I'm baffled that this movie's done so well with critics and audiences. Baffled! Instead, I'd point you toward a different Nick Cage horror movie, in which parents are also complete dicks dangers to their kids, that is better written, faster paced, and in general, far superior: Mom and Dad (which did not fare so well with critics/audiences, bc apparently up is down, day is night, and who tf knows why ::exasperated shrugs::).

Miscellany...

After seeing this movie, I felt compelled to re-read the original Lovecraft tale, as it'd been a while--and I have to say, the source material so outclasses this script, it's depressing what was done in its name. I enjoy movie adaptations, just as I enjoy song covers (the wackier, the better, so long as they've got a good beat and I can dance to 'em), and I don't need them to match the OG works completely. But I feel like this particular story should've been kept in its era and told more faithfully--and Cage, bless him, should've been directed to be more watchful (as the dad in the short story was) and less bombastic.

Ratings...

My Grade: C

Rotten Tomatoes Scores: Tomatometer=86%, Audience Score=82%

Details, Schmeetails...

I Watched Color Out of Space on Shudder (the Rotten Tomatoes page linked above provides links to other streaming platforms)

Check it out on IMDb

Learn more about it on Wikipedia (Contains Spoilers)

This concludes Day 7 of

Thanks for reading and come back tomorrow...

IF YOU DARE

The Necronomnomnom by Mike Slater ~ A Belated* First Look

Mike Slater's The Necronomnomnom: Recipes and Rites from the Lore of H. P. Lovecraft is a cookbook written in the charmingly floral but forbidding early 20th C. style of H.P. Lovecraft. Its title, a play on the fictional "Necronomicon" (of which Lovecraft wrote in his cosmic horror) sends me into fits of Wilma Flintstone-esque giggles and I find myself repeating it often bc FUN, and fun's been in short supply for quite some time. Anyway, it's not merely written in Lovecraft's voice, but the recipes are named after creatures and characters from his many mythoi (including Cthulhu, of course), and are tales themselves. Sorta. Lemme 'splain...

The Necronomnomnom is in two parts: the main recipe section, à la Lovecraft, then the appendix, in which we see "the rites revealed." The recipes provide ingredient lists advising, "What Must Be Offered" or "Rise and Obtain," while cooking instructions commence with, "When the Stars are Right," or "To Travel the Void." The appendix section "reveals the rites" by giving us each recipe in more straightforward English (which is not as entertaining as reading that the garlic should be "minced savagely" and the sirloin "ruthlessly cubed"). There's also a handy index, which helps you locate both versions of a particular recipe with relative ease.

We're given fifty recipes in total, for Drinks (such as Herbert West's Deanimator), Appetizers (Atlach-Nachos), Soups and Salads (Pallid Bisque), Main Dishes (Formless Spawnghetti), Sides (Cthus-Koos), Breakfast (The Oats of Dagon), Children's Meals (Cultists in Robes) (not made from actual children) (yes, I checked), and Desserts (The Ring That Should Not Be). Because I love breakfast foods (and bc I'm about as mature as a very young and obnoxious ten-year-old), I'm itching to make the Great Old Buns (aka Very Cross Buns). (BC buns, hun.)

While there are no pictures, there are gorgeous illustrations. Not that you need pics, when the language used is so vivid:

SHOGGHOULASH. Serves 4, under strict hypnotic control

Freeze the creatures and keep them frozen! The bears cannot be trusted. ~ AT THE FOUNTAINS OF MADNESS (Drink)

Bring all to a boil; mutter the incantation, as instructed below, and stir until thickened. ~ NEW ENGLAND DAMNED CHOWDER (Yes, there is an incantation.) (No, you couldn't pay me enough to recite it.)

At first, I thought the old man simply eccentric, and perhaps a bit senile. ~ THE MUESLI OF ERICH ZANN

The pale crystal and ebon flakes may now be scattered atop. ~ LOVECRAFT MACARONI AND CHEESE (Serves 6 to 8 Dark Young, Children's Menu)

...he went at the egg like it done him wrong, beating at it as it went in. ~ JOE SLATER'S IN-BREAD PUDDING

And you don't have to be familiar with Lovecraft's work to enjoy The Necronomnomnom, you just have to have some culinary curiosity and a good sense of humor, coupled with a deep appreciation for the absurd (which, if you're reading my blog, you most assuredly must possess). Plus, if you're craving autumn and Halloween like I am, trying out these recipes can really lift your spirits! (Heh heh. See what I did there? Lift your spirits? Halloween? Yeah...you see what I did there.) 

The Necronomnomnom is available on Amazon (it's $22.46 right now but I bought it during a big price drop within the past week or so, for just $9.98!) and Barnes & Noble, and probably elsewhere but I'm too lazy** to go lookin'.

In a related story, check out this guy's video review of The Necronomnomnom
(and enjoy with me the number of times he says the book's title ~ tee hee)

*"Belated" bc this book came out last fall but I only just got it into my hot little hands
**You knew this about me already, undoubtedly