De Ecstasy of De Feet

Last week's focus on Cybersex made me horny realize I've not done a post on the science of attraction (a series I've cleverly referred to as "What about luuurve?", aka WAL?) in rather a while, for which I am most heartily sorry and endeavor to atone. Forgive me? Of course you do. And so, on with the sex-ay.

In previous WAL? posts I wrote about eyes being the key to more than the soul and how be-rouged lips issue an invitation the average individual would be more than happy to answer. (Nudge nudge, wink wink.) But wouldja believe that the parts of your body which reveal the most about your true feelings are your feet? Ex-FBI agent Joe Navarro says that feet, unlike faces, cannot tell a lie. According to him, honest feet are a throwback to the days when a Paleo diet was the only diet around and we relied on them to get us gone when predators approached. (Also, "Honest Feet" would make for a smashing band name.) (Maybe for a Christian Rock band.) (Not that there's anything wrong with that.)

Website Go BodyLanguage agrees that the direction in which a person's feet point indicate where that person wants to be. In the above scenario, one would want to be the hell-outta-range of whatever creature suddenly appeared. In a luuurve, or dating, scenario one would presumably wish to run to rather than away from, and so the toesies would likely point toward the luuurve/lust object. Mind you, it has to be the feet pointing; the upper-body turning in that direction doesn't prove a damned thing. (Except, perhaps, that the person's mighty limber, in which case, W00F.)

Erotische Fotografie 1890-1920
Public domain via Wikimedia Commons

Fine, so you're at some holiday work par-tay and Hottie McHotterson approaches. You've been diggin' his scene since, like, your first day on the job and now, having read this blog post, you know where to look to see if he's really into you. You surreptitiously glance down at his feet...and they're both pointing at you! Score!!! But wait, one of them's moving and...oh, he's pushed it forward, so that the pointing foot's closer to you. Well, well. You've just hit the body language jackpot. 'Cause guess what else Mr. McHotterson wants to place closer to you? (Le rawr rawr.)

So the next time you draw near a person of interest, feel free to set your tootsies to stun, but take note—if your target's feet shift and suddenly point toward the door, then this is one Enterprise that won't be boldly splitting infinitives any time soon. (If you know what I mean.) (You don't? Tsk.) (Yes, I'm making a heavy-handed sexual innuendo of a Star Trek reference. C'mon, it's totally the sort of thing I live to do.) (And "Splitting Infinitives" would also make for a splendid band name, damn it.)

References/Resources

• What The Feet And Legs Say About Us! by Joe Navarro
• Pointed Feet The Compass of Our Mind's Desires
• Body language flirting: NLP techniques
• How The Legs Reveal What The Mind Wants To Do

Eye-yai-yai!

For this episode of "What about luuurve?" (or, my feature on topics relating to the science behind love), let's take a look at our eyes. I don't mean, like, in the mirror or anything. I mean, let's check out how the eyes figure into the science of attraction and whatnot.

Our eyes both pick up on information and communicate it (this last bit, often without our conscious knowledge). Specifically, our pupils are the actual windows to our souls, and those suckers dilate (get bigger/wider) when there's information before us which we deem of great import. This can be because of something good ("That dude's HAWT!") or bad ("Holy shit, is that a freakin' bear?!"). The wider the pupil, the more information gets through to our little gray cells, the faster our little gray cells can tell us to run (whether to or from the source of the stimulus will, of course, vary, depending upon the info received). (Presumably.)

As regards the "something good," if we're talking about a possible future lover/mate/spouse, when our pupils widen to take her/him in, areas of our brain which respond to dopamine get very active, probably 'cause our little gray cells want us to get a move on and take action on the attraction, already.

Interestingly, the sexes have somewhat differing perceptions of widened pupils in the objects of their respective affections. Hetero dudes think chicks with big pupils are hawt because:

a) they interpret that wide-pupil gaze as sexual interest in them, specifically, and
b) they (unconsciously) reckon that this sexual interest is due to the chick ovulating ('cause, like, menfolk have that biological imperative to spread their seed far and wide, yo). (Hey, I don't make this stuff up, I just report it, OK?) (Sheesh.)

By Greyson Orlando (Own work)
[Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

Medieval Italian babes intuitively picked up on this and used belladonna to widen their pupes, thus increasing their pulling power. (This method's not recommended, as belladonna's toxic like Britney.)

Hetero chicks' responses to dude's pupil size will vary, based on what it is they're actively seeking. If a gal wants a steady, long-term, relationship, she'll prefer a dude with medium-sized pupils. But if all she wants is a bit of short-term fun, then larger pupils will float the little man in her boat. Apparently, wide pupils in a male indicate a potentially overwhelming sexual desire that can lead to aggressive, even violent, behavior (which, while undesirable in a long-term relationship, may explain the mystifying attraction some gals feel for so-called "bad boys"). Anyway, them mid-sized pupes demonstrate a safer level of interest. (Curiously, biology can trump this thought process when a chick's ovulating—at that point in her monthly cycle, it seems a woman's held hostage to her urge to merge/biological clock/"Damn, I really want a baby" instinct.) (Again, I'm not making this jazz up, promise.)

Right, so: if pupil enlargement indicates sexual interest (and it does), then a large-pupiled, long-held gaze is a very promising sign, indeed. We're flattered when possible love-objects stare into our eyes and, subsequently, rate their attractiveness even higher as a result. And the longer we hold one another's gazes, the more passionately we feel about them.

So what's the takeaway from all this?

By Emily Tan (originally posted to Flickr as The Gaze)
[CC-BY-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)],
via Wikimedia Commons

Well, if you and your lover naturally make frequent eye contact and hold one another's looks for longer, rather than shorter, periods of time (in non-creepy ways), your relationship's probably in a good place. Take note, however, if any of the following are true:

• When out to dinner, you and your love-muffin would rather look at your food, around the room, or at your smart phones, rather than at one another. (More often than not.)
• Your lover blocks his eyes (whether with a hand or simply by closing them) during a conversation—this could mean he's troubled by, or frustrated with, you.
• Your significant other starts blinking, a lot, when explaining his whereabouts of an evening—folks' eyelids begin to flutter rapidly when they're nervous. (Looking away for a moment, however, is not necessarily a bad thing, as he may simply be trying to recall an exact sequence of events.)
• Your spouse squints, or narrows her eyes at you when you're giving her your whereabouts of an evening—you're either seriously stressing her out or she doesn't buy what you're trying to sell and she's pissed.

Stuff I read to research this topic (to give credit, and to reassure, in case you're still thinking I made this shizz up):

Joe Navarro, “TheBody Language of the Eyes: The Eyes Reveal What The Heart Conceals,” psychologytoday.com,December 11, 2009.

Cheryl Murphy, “Learning the Look of Love: That Sly “Come Hither” Stare,” scientificamerican.com, October 17, 2011.

Cheryl Murphy, “Learning the Look of Love: In your Eyes, the Light the Heat,” scientificamerican.com, November 1, 2011.

Cristen Conger, “Does love make your pupils dilate?” howstuffworks.com, February 12, 2012.

Why Do Chicks Wear Lipstick? (WAL?)

Visual by www.PDImages.com.

Thus begins my new feature, What About Luuurve? (aka WAL?), which focuses on a subject which has fascinated me since I was but a mere Gothling: the science and biology of love. (And/or sex, I'm not that fussy.)

So, like, did y'all know that lipstick, or lip coloring, has been around for, like, forever? Well, at least since ancient Mesopotamian babes, chillin' in the Fertile Crescent (heh heh), painted their lips with henna, clay, and rust. (Ick.) Don't even ask how Cleopatra did it, 'cause that's grosser still, and my WAL? posts are s'posed to be all about the sexaaay...

Right, so: painted lips waxed and waned in popularity throughout history. Hot, then not, then a tool of Satan, then super groovy all over again. Over thousands of years, gals have been drawn to using lip color, but why?

Today's woman might say she feels confident/powerful/beautiful when she wears it and naked/vulnerable/ugly when she doesn't. OK, I'll buy that for a dollar. But what got chicks to start feeling confident/powerful/beautiful by painting their lips all them years ago?

Well...

DISCLAIMER: This next bit's where my adult content warning really comes into play.

Guess what else is happy to see ya?

Wouldja believe it's 'cause ruddy facial lips resemble a woman's labia when she's aroused, and women re-create this effect on their faces, so as to signal that they're ready for some nookie? This theory, proposed by science, is the foundation from which the other theories stem. To wit: facial lips also become engorged and redder due to the blood rushing to them when a gal's hot to trot, which is a major turn-on. As well, full, flushed lips are indicative of youth and fertility, another siren's call to sex.

You may cry foul, citing that lotsa chicks wear colors other than those in the red family, such as more neutral browns and pinks, and whatnot, or that women of color won't be flushing red. Fair enough. But you do realize that other things on a gal, which may be of a pinkish/brownish hue, also engorge with blood when she's raring to rock, right? Like, her nipples, for instance? Fact. And women of color may not go pinky-red, but the blood rushing to their naughty bits will further color those bits. Also fact. The bottom line is that the blood be rushin', indicating a chick's ready for action, which can sometimes be all the foreplay needed by a potential sex-partner.

So, you know, the next time you go shopping for lipstick, just remember what you're advertizing when you stroke that lush new shade across your lips, ladies. (Nudge, nudge, wink, wink, say no more...)

References/Sources

• http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lipstick
• "How Lipstick Works". Discovery Health.
• Cavanah, Claire, Rachel Venning, and Jessica Vitkus. Moregasm: Babeland's Guide to Mind-blowing Sex. New York: Avery/Melcher Media, 2010. Print.
• Wilson, Glenn D., and Chris McLaughlin. The Science of Love. London: Fusion, 2001. Print.

Edited to add additional disclaimer, above. I'd meant to do it before this post published, but forgot. My bad.